


Feanoir

by shriekinggeek



Category: The Silmarillion and other histories of Middle-Earth - J. R. R. Tolkien
Genre: Gen, probably a crack fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-04-22
Updated: 2017-04-22
Packaged: 2018-10-22 12:14:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 266
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10696806
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shriekinggeek/pseuds/shriekinggeek
Summary: an incredibly dumb detective noir style oneshot that was prompted by a pun





	Feanoir

It was late when she walked into my office, so late the light of the Two Trees was casting deep shadows over her red hair and pretty face, striped by my window blinds. It was almost too dark to see her face properly but I could see in her eyes there was a job for me.

An important job. Yes, there was that glint in her eye that spoke volumes of seriousness and something sinister.

What would it be this time? A broken door hinge? Relatives and broken doors were in fashion as of late. Maybe an emergency concert harp repair. I'd heard one wailing down the hall earlier that morning, but with how often I've had to visit you'd think Maglor would be an expert on fixing harps by now. The door was more likely. In my experience the problem was usually just a few loose screws. Easy stuff.

There were times that loose screws weren't so easy to fix. Just take a look at my half brother Fingolfin.

But as she walked toward me I began to wonder. There was an important swing to her hips, an official movement to her wrist as she flicked her hair out of her face, and each click of her heels sounded more ominous as she came forward to lean across my desk and spill her hair all over it.

“Fëanor,” she whispered. By the sound of her voice someone had done this woman wrong. Serious wrong. Just when I was about to ask what she wanted of me, she opened her mouth again.

“ _Do the fucking dishes._ ”

**Author's Note:**

> dear professor tolkien i am very sorry love shrieking geek


End file.
